First of all, let everyone know of your plans to adopt a baby – you never know who knows who or how you will be matched with the right expectant mother. It’s also great to have that support around you.
Work with a therapist or a coach who specializes in adoption to support you emotionally, help you work through your own fears around adoption, making sure you are really ready to move forward, and help you see issues that may arise in the coming days, weeks, months and years, to help you plan for those.
Have your finances in order before you get started – you never want to pass up on an opportunity that might be a great one for your family because you don’t have all your money in place yet. Know where your money will be coming from and once you apply to your agencies, have it at your fingertips and accessible within 1-3 days. Here are some great fundraising ideas.
Work with an adoption consultant who can educate you about the process of adoption, vet agencies for you to alleviate the time it would take you, help guide you on putting together a killer profile and coach you to alleviate risky situations.
Keep the process moving – there is a lot of prep work involved in adoption. Do something every day to move it forward, and call us so that we can complete your home study the quickest. We promise to have your study done in less than a month.
Put together a killer profile that speaks to the expectant mother, in her own language, so she can picture her baby in your family. Your profile is the one tool that will get her attention.
Apply with multiple agencies and attorneys, with low up-front fees, across the country in states with adoption-friendly laws. More agencies = a quicker match. An adoption consultant will put together a personalized plan for you.
Work with large, reputable agencies with a lot of activity, who makes between 25-50+ successful placements per year and who has been in business for many years. Make sure they can make placements in your state.
Have all your paperwork in order before sending it in to an agency. That includes your home study, your killer profile and all their paperwork (which oftentimes you can download directly from their website).
Be our best client! Always be positive and polite!! Don’t be quick to say NO to anything, and if you do, give a few reasons why. And always, always say Thank You! (do I even need to remind you?)
Check in with us on a regular basis (every 3-5 weeks is good) and change up your mode of communication. The point is, you want to stay top of mind with them, without annoying them.
Check your emails and phone regularly. When you see a message from anyone on your adoption team (especially us or the attorney you’ve applied with), respond quickly. This team is on your side and trying to help you adopt your baby quickly. It could be THE RIGHT situation, and you don’t want to miss it!
The more open you are, the quicker you will be matched. Being open to race, sex, medical background, mental health, contact with the biological family and an openness about adoption as a whole (check out Lori Holden on her wonderful site called Lavender Luz) will lead you to your baby that much quicker. That said, you MUST do what feels right for you and your family. This is super important.
Have an experienced OBGYN or Pediatrician on your team, who is knowledgeable on the effects of substances, medical and mental health issues on the fetus, who can answer your questions when presented a situation and will quickly respond to you. If you don’t have someone, Children’s Research Triangle provides consults.
Meditate / Visualize / Affirm – Who is your baby going to be? Paint a picture in your mind, see him/her and what it will be like with your new baby, write down an affirmation and be specific – when it will happen, what it will be like, etc., and read it every morning and night. Try to stay relaxed. I’ve incorporated The Miracle Morning into my life, and this would be perfect for you to incorporate as well, during an otherwise crazy roller coaster ride.
Plus one VERY important bonus one for good measure…
Stay positive – it’s an exciting journey and one that’s going to lead you to your baby.
Oh, and a bonus, look into how you can Breast Feed your adopted baby. Yes it is possible and it the best feeling in the world!